For the moment, something validating:

“Teaching girls that their appearance is the first thing you notice tells them that looks are more important than anything. It sets them up for dieting at age 5 and foundation at age 11 and boob jobs at 17 and Botox at 23. As our cultural imperative for girls to be hot 24/7 has become the new normal, American women have become increasingly unhappy. What’s missing? A life of meaning, a life of ideas and reading books and being valued for our thoughts and accomplishments.”

 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lisa-bloom/how-to-talk-to-little-gir_b_882510.html

It’s not a bad thing to care about your appearances somewhat, but if you’ve got nothing to show on the inside, nothing you do outside will compensate.

In considering the options available to me to telephonically contact friends and family, I decided Skype would be the best option.  The office does, fortunately, offer a VoIP number that I can use to call US numbers at domestic rates, and this is what I’ve been using.  I realize, however, that my usage may be a bit excessive over the allowance given, and in a quest to avoid an unsightly bill at the end of the month (and naturally yani* to save taxpayer dollars), I opted for the cost-efficient Skype.  At $6.99/month, I would be able to make unlimited calls to both landlines and mobiles from the comfort of my computer.  Sounds awesome, right?

Little did I know that Skype would make it so difficult for me to PAY THEM.  Yes, you read right.  In trying to pay for my measly $6.99 subscription, I have encountered obstacle after obstacle.  The only two payment options available to me are Moneybookers. com, a third-party vendor that would allow me to use my credit and debit cards, and PayByCash, which rely on intermediaries like Western Union or physical mailing/faxing of checks.  The former seemed more convenient since the latter will incur transaction fees and take at least 6 business days, so I signed up.  After multiple attempts at verifying two separate cards successfully (which seemed a bit sketchy as it required more personal info than I am used to, but at this point, I trusted that Skype would use a reputable vendor), it appeared that my transaction still cannot go through (no reason is provided).

After an hour of aggravation, I begin exchanging emails with Skype Customer Service, where I explained my problem and asked to use PayPal instead (as some people have told me that was an option available to them), I am told that I am not eligible due to my location in Egypt and that any trouble I have with Moneybookers.com should be directed to them instead:

Thank you for contacting Skype Customer Service.

We understand that you have a problem with payment method. We will do our best to explain this to you.

Upon checking, we found out that you are in Egypt base on your IP address. The only payment method available as a funding source for your Skype account is PaybyCash and Moneybookers.

PayPal is not currently available in your country. We suggest you use another payment method to credit your Skype account.

Your payment was processed by our payment provider Moneybookers, not Skype.
…
For all questions regarding Moneybookers accounts, passwords, SMS verifications etc., please contact Moneybookers directly at http://www.moneybookers.com/app/help.pl?s=contact

I responded:

Thank you for your prompt response.

To address your first point, I understand that customer payment options are determined by their location.  However, I hope you can understand that I am having trouble determining why PayPal would not be offered as a funding option to everyone regardless of their location because it is an Internet-based service. Although I am in Egypt at the moment, I am a resident and citizen of the US, and I have a PayPal account with available funds that I can and have  been able to easily access while in Egypt.  Regardless of where I am located, if I have the funds and the means to complete my payment through a particular method that Skype frequently uses, I don’t see why that particular method would be restricted from me.  Given Skype’s appeal to international travelers for whom Internet-based services have provided the most flexibility, it seems to me a bit incongruent for you to limit any approved Internet payment service at all just because of the traveler’s country of utilization, and I strongly urge you to change this in the future.

As far as Moneybookers go, I will attempt to contact them once again to resolve my payment issue. However, please note that this is one of the most dissatisfactory services I have ever encountered with an online merchant. After following the online instructions and receiving notice that I have successfully verified my card information, I am told that I will be directed to a page to complete my payment.  Through no visible fault of my own, however, the page I am led to does not allow me to pay via the card I had just verified; instead, I am asked to personally initiate a wire transfer to a German bank account before payment to Skype can be completed.  Not only does this appear suspicious, but international wire transfers are always accompanied by a hefty fee.  For a $6.99 payment to Skype, using this method would incur a transaction fee of $40 for me.  It makes no sense.

Aside from the complexity involved in making a simple credit/debit card transaction (which has never been the case with PayPal in my experience), the service is absolutely atrocious.  For instance, before contacting Skype Customer Service, I had already visited the contact page that you offered in your email (http://www.moneybookers.com/app/help.pl?s=contact).  While the Email Support Centre appeared to be soundly established at the onset, the site requires you to sign in before you can use the system. However, after signing in, I am redirected to my account home page, where that Email Support page no longer exists, and the only contact info I am provided while logged in is a UK telephone number.  Email Support for customers has disappeared entirely, and the only email address available are for merchants interested in using Moneybookers’ service as a vendor.  So, please, consider my situation – I need to contact Moneybookers to figure out how to pay Skype.  I cannot access Email Support without signing in, yet when I am signed in, Email Support is nowhere to be found, and the only contact information available to me is an international phone number.  And I cannot call that international phone number because the method I would normally use (Skype) will not allow me to pay them in any manageable way.

I realize that there may be nothing you can do at the moment to ameliorate my situation.  I am quite sure, however, that I am not the first to express frustration with Skype’s payment options/relationship with Moneybookers, and in fact, a brief search in the Skype Community Boards will prove this.  I just want this case noted as yet another appeal for you to consider amending your current relationship with a vendor like Moneybookers, and I implore you to please think of your target consumer base – people visiting and working abroad with a real demand for Skype who, due to difficulties like these, may have to find better alternatives.  Thank you for your time.

I’m pretty sure I’ll just get a dismissive “sorry, there’s nothing we can do” email back, but at least I got to say my piece.  So what’s next?  Have someone in the US pay my Skype subscription, and hope that Google Call expands its reach globally. If you can recommend any other service, please let me know.

* yani = by far the single most frequently used word I’ve heard so far, and I love it.  It’s the equivalent of “I mean” and used either to paraphrase or to provide further clarification on what was just said.

With three days off for Eid al-Adha, I’ve had the chance to explore the city quite a bit, especially since the streets are the emptiest I’ve ever seen it (and will ever see it, I’m told). It’s definitely a nice break from the normal Cairene traffic.

Eid al-Adha is the Greater Feast, as compared to Eid al-Fitr, the Smaller Feast that marks the end of Ramadan. During this Eid, an animal is prepared for sacrificed, with one portion retained for the family, one portion given to relatives and friends, and one portion provided for the poor. A coworker had advised me to wake up early to hear the call to prayer and to see the carpets being rolled on the streets. Unfortunately, my night owl tendencies prevented me from doing this, but I have definitely not missed out on seeing the streets bathed in puddles of blood and sheep and goats butchered right in front of me. As a proud carnivore, it is still very unnerving to see. It was especially difficult to stomach this morning when I walked out to the main street of my neighborhood to see a goat, already wounded, writhing miserably and hopelessly on the sidewalk as two men try to pin him down. It is quite sad, also, to see herds of live sheep fenced in front of all the shops decorated with blinking lights and rows of raw meat hanging down from outside beams; you know what’s going to happen to them, they know what’s going to happen to them, and it’s just part of life. Every so often, while walking, I would spot an ear here, a tail there lying on the street as an indicator of the act that took place prior to my arrival. I do love meat, but this may be a bit too much for me.

The exploring, however, is fun. Yesterday, two colleagues, both relatively new to the mission, joined me in exploring Dokki for half the day. There wasn’t anything to see in terms of attractions, but I really just wanted to get a feel for the area. Today, we headed to Tahrir Square and Old Cairo/Coptic Cairo, and after meeting up with some other people for drinks, I brought home some fried chicken for dinner. That kinda made my day, as fried chicken always does =)

It is a common assertion that Egyptians are very friendly and hospitable. Many times, we have been greeted with hellos and welcomes that are provided without any ulterior motives whatsoever. But just as many times, we have been approached by those who want to invite us to their house or business for tea, only so they have the opportunity to give us the hard sell for whatever products they’re selling. There are even times when people have come up to say hello and immediately ask for money. And every single time, after finding out we’re American, we are then showered with praises for Obama.

Like anywhere else, the friendliness of the people can vary tremendously. The past couple of days thankfully have afforded me the opportunity to figure out how to politely exit the scene and how to determine who may have something good to tell you.

At one point, for instance, we were lured into a papyrus and essence shop (one of many in this city) by a guy who was more interested in selling us customized tours than the items in his shop. After watching multiple video testimonials, he gave a pretty convincing (but not overbearing) sell, and I was surprised to see that his prices were more reasonable than any others I’ve found. He’s also been mentioned by a few reviews online, so we’re planning to test him for a proposed felucca ride down the Nile, and if this works out, I may have a reliable tour agent to use.

At another point, we stopped in Simonds Bakery and Café to buy some snacks while we waited for a colleague’s taxi. While there, the owner of the shop started talking with me, and after finding out I am from Houston, he shared that he actually immigrated to the States awhile ago and helped established the Marriott in the Galleria, among other businesses. He had some critical things to say about Cairo/Egypt, which was very surprising to me considering the nationalism I’ve seen from many others, and he opined about how the Egypt he knew growing up has changed drastically for the worse. In any case, he gave us some complimentary desserts and extended the offer for me to teach his daughter English in exchange for an Arabic conversation partner/tutor. This may be worth considering, and if not, I know where to stop by for free snacks!

This is an unusual week. With last Thursday off for Veteran’s Day, and Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday off for Eid Al-Adha, that leaves only Sunday and Thursday of this week as the sole working days. Most people take both these days off enabling them 11 days of vacation. Because I’m new, obviously, I cannot do that. However, that also means that today, when 90% of the mission staff is out, I am the Acting Controller.

Yesterday, I decided to head to the Khan el-Khalili, a major tourist attraction and huge outdoor bazaar selling nearly everything. After a late start to the day, I hopped in the cab excited to finally see this for myself; I love love love open markets. Little did I know that due to increased activity in preparation for the Eid, traffic was pretty horrible all around. After waiting awhile, I decided to get out and take the metro instead. I vaguely remember reading that the nearest metro stop to the Khan is Attaba, so the trip there was very simple. What was complicated, however, was figuring out which direction to walk towards upon emerging from underground. Feeling adventurous, I figured I’ll start walking and see what serendipity will bring my way. Although I did find a lot of interesting shops (Attaba is frequented by locals more than the Khan), I still wanted to satisfy my curiosity by at least stopping by the Khan, so I continued walking for hours, blindly believing that some random force of nature would guide me there somehow. On the way, I found a bakery I couldn’t resist trying, and because I had planned on celebrating my Acting Controller gig by bringing in some snacks for those working on this deserted Sunday, I had a valid excuse for stopping in. With what little Arabic I knew and a lot of pointing, I emerged victorious with a box full of delicious looking cookies. It’s always a proud moment to get what you want in spite of the language barrier.

After more hours walking to no avail, I finally gave in and asked some tourist police to point me the way. By this time, it was already dark, and a lot of the shops were closed, so I found myself wandering through some very empty and quiet areas with nary a tourist in sight. At one point, I stumbled into an Egyptian guide giving an impromptu tour to two belly dancers from Mexico (who after hearing my origin later confessed to me that they are actually from Texas but say Mexico to avoid the illusion of being rich Americans and easy targets for swindling), and I somehow got ushered into joining the group. So off we went, shopping for shawls, examining papyrus, smelling flower essences, and watching Nancy Ajram music videos in random stores. The belly dancers have invited me to meet up with them during their week here, and the Egyptian wants to introduce me to his AUC friends. I don’t know how much of this will happen, but for some reason, being here, none of this seems bizarre or menacing. But yes, I promise I will be careful.

On my way back home, I was once again caught in the mad crowd of people in Attaba buying things left and right. It was a bit insane to see so many people flooding the streets, salesmen shouting Arabic pitches all along the midan (square), children giggling and pointing (mostly at me), but this seems to be Cairo in all its glory. Tired as I was, I stayed out a little longer just to be part of the crowd.

Weeks II and III

Because of an office restructuring that is planned to take place in the next few months, our office went on various retreats this week to ensure that the staff members get the opportunity to voice all their issues. It’s been unusual because in most scenarios, you don’t discover the underlying problems in an organization until you’ve been there for awhile. Here, as a newcomer observing these retreats, I’ve been made aware of these problems very early on. The more I am exposed to the operations here, the more I realize that in both government and private sector, it seems like there are more similarities than there are differences. Staffing problems, operational inefficiencies, esoteric lingo… they’re all mainstays of any fast-growing organization.

I am disappointed to confirm that my long-time dream of becoming a groomsperson will not be granted. Due to work schedules, I will not be able to travel to Taipei to fulfill my role. I’m really sorry, Protégé, and I hope the best for your wedding (and marriage, I guess =)). If there is any way I could’ve made it, I really would’ve… thank you for thinking of me as your groomsperson, though. I’m honored to have been asked and considered, and I will be there in spirit.

As one of Lee’s farewell events, some of the people in my neighborhood put together an awesome Nicaraguan meal of indio viejo, rice and beans, cassava,corn, maduros (plantains!) and tres leches. Seeing all this, I really miss cooking. We are given a hospitality kit with all the essentials to use while our shipments arrive, but many of the kitchen supplies are not the best. I was also impressed to see how much stuff people had in their apartments. I’m still milking the minimalistic lifestyle, and I can’t imagine amassing so many THINGS while I’m still moving around so much. Maybe one day… I’ll have my dream kitchen/home.

I won a cake from the work cafeteria this week by the luck of the draw, and let me tell you, this is really rare. The only other time I’ve ever won anything by draw was at a business lyceum, and I won… an accounting textbook. Yes, seriously. So to win a fruit cake was a big deal, especially since I am still new, and there are apparently many people who have been trying for awhile. Being the generous person that I am (actually, I just didn’t want to bring it home), I shared it with the entire office. As I have learned, that’s one surefire way to make friends.

A colleague who has to go back to DC for training for two weeks needed to find an alternative coordinator for this annual donation drive called the Combined Federal Campaign (CFC), and lo and behold, he passed the torch to me. My only responsibility is to promote and encourage charitable contributions for the CFC while he’s away. It amuses me quite a bit to think that in DC, I apparently declared on the first day of orientation that I am not generous, as the symbolic meaning of my name implied. Here in Cairo, after sharing my prize cake and spearheading the CFC, that seems to be many coworkers’ first impression of me. How quick the tides turn!

Week I

On my first night here, my social sponsor (a person assigned to help you adjust to life here) took me to Abou El Sid, a popular expat restaurant for upscale Egyptian food. I had one of Egypt’s national dishes, molokheya, which is a soup made from jute leaves, served with chicken and rice. The soup had the consistency of okra in that it was thick and slimy, and while the taste didn’t bother me, I was not fond of the texture. The following day, we went to the Commissary, an Embassy-owned store that stocked pretty much every brand you could possibly want from the US at prices that are most likely cheaper than what you’d find in DC (and even Houston). It was then that I realized how easy it can be to inoculate yourself from the chaos of living in a city of 22 million people and live a comfortable, easy expatriate life. I can see why many people do, but for the moment, I’d prefer something much different.

As a stark contrast, a couple days later, a very friendly colleague took me and a couple visiting friends walking around the city. Having taken one year full-time Arabic lessons and having spent most of his two years here walking the entire city, he knew Cairo better than most local residents. There were no significant touristy sights to see, but there was so much a tourist should want to see. After a hearty Yemeni dinner in Dokki, we weaved our way through the large crowds haggling in the open bazaars, wandered down darkened alleys that led to grand mosques shining in the moonlight, and lounged in an outdoor ahwa (café) to drink fresh juices, smoke shisha, and relish the gentle autumnal breezes that may be gone all too soon. If every night was like this night, I think my time here will pass by very quickly (and agreeably).

On Wednesday after work, a few of us headed to Al-Azhar Park for an event with the Embassy folks. The view from here is pretty stunning, and the sunset was beautiful (ironically, heavy pollution makes for striking sunsets). Cairo is known as “the city of a thousand minarets” but what I, and many others, have noticed is that maybe it’d be more aptly known as “the city of a million satellite dishes”. It’s not hard to understand why when you look at the skyline. After dinner, we headed to Attaba to look around. I somehow ended up helping my friend pick up his suits. In spite of my assertions that I’m really the worst person to comment on how well-made and stylish a suit may be (and I’m sure most of you would agree), apparently, being biologically female is enough qualification to dish fashion advice.

During the weekend, I attended a Halloween Party in Maadi, which is an area about 30 minutes (without heavy traffic) from downtown. From the beginning, I have been advised to take these newer white taxis with black diamonds, as they have a meter and will use it most of the time. The fare is also really cheap (2.5 LE/$0.43 to start, and about 1 LE/$0.17 every kilometer). This saves on a lot of potential problems for a foreigner because the Egyptian way is to hail the older black taxis, which do not use meters whatsoever. Instead, the passenger will simply get in, without any mention of price, and upon reaching the destination, he or she would pay an amount that is “standard” of the trip – again, no price or negotiation is ever mentioned; there is just an implicit understanding of what the trip would cost. Because I was traveling with Lee, who spoke fluent Arabic, we opted to take a black taxi when the white taxi we had originally gotten into started having mechanical problems.  We paid what we felt it was worth, and there was no problem. I’m not sure I could ever do this by myself… maybe if I ever learn the language well enough to feel comfortable arguing my way out of being swindled. It would be quite an accomplishment, no? The party was fun, but what I realized is that perhaps due to the relative ease of living here, there is an inordinate amount of married people at this mission. Although I have felt very welcomed and my social life is not lacking, it is… different. While there were also lots of married folks in DC, our class generally had a good balance, and I do miss that work-life comfort. It’s okay, I’ll find my place somehow.

My supervisor had asked the travel agency in our building to arrange a pyramid tour for a visitor from DC in town for the weekend and a TDY from South Africa working here for three weeks. I decided last minute to join the group, so early the next morning after the party, we headed off to Giza, Memphis, and Saqarra. It was pretty surreal being there, seeing Cheops’ Pyramid and the Sphinx with my very own eyes.  I can’t seem to say much more about the pyramids that have not already been said by so many others before me, so I’ll let the pictures speak in my stead.

It’s been an action-packed first week.

I commute to and from work on a shuttle, and while the drive is long, the journey is usually interesting. The driver, whose uncanny knowledge of Cairo’s back streets have allowed us to skirt the heavy traffic many times, has no modesty in calling himself Professor Way for this very reason. In the first few weeks, he took various routes in a generous attempt to showcase Cairo’s highlights to me, so the Citadel, the hills of Mokattam, the Ibn Tulun Mosque, the Cities of the Dead, and others have served as the natural backdrop during this lengthy daily commute. On some days, he teaches me a few basic Egyptian Arabic phrases; on other days, he advises us on the best markets to find cheap produce.

My coworkers are generally warm and welcoming, my neighborhood is lively, and my work has been somewhat interesting so far. As some of you may have known, my departure was marred by many frustrating little trials and one very unpleasant event. I am happy to report that once I arrived in Cairo, things have been exponentially better. While the transition to post was not the smoothest it could have been, I’m comforted by the fact that extreme personalities do not go undetected (though they remain tolerated) and while a not-so-positive reputation preceded me, there have been ample opportunities for my merits to speak for themselves. This has also reaffirmed to me that no matter your experience, no matter the industry in which you work, tact and diplomacy are still valuable but often deficient. As much as I enjoy being assertive and candid in my interactions with others, I’d like to ensure that I never come across as ruthless and unsympathetic as I have seen and been subject to. Compassion/consideration really is an understated virtue, even in this industry.

Que sera sera, things did end up working out for now. I’ve quelled all conflicts, and I’m finally taking Arabic both during work and after work in hopes of achieving the elusive goal of being able to navigate around without excessive gesturing. There’s really no major complaint to speak of except that the commute to work can be draining and that I am pretty positive I’ll develop some sort of allergy or respiratory affliction from the terrible pollution, excessive dust, and ubiquitous smoking in this city. But hey, I’m in Cairo, and even after a long day in hours-long traffic, the moment I cross the Qasr il Nil bridge on my way home and my gaze takes in that oft-spoken river, however commercialized it has become, I can’t help but feel like I’m in a good place. And that’s enough for now.

My orientation class, the twelfth class of the agency recruitment program known as the Development Leadership Initiative, was a unique amalgamation of colorful personalities and impressive backgrounds and qualifications. To say the very least, I was extremely humbled to be included in this group of interesting and admirable people, especially given my aspiration to acquire the industry experience that most of them have already attained. Additionally, my technical credentials came from an entirely different sector, and I was encouraged to see that I may be able to carve my own path after all.

Given that my departure was changed last minute and farewells were rushed, I was not able to fully express my appreciation for the short but fantastic time I spent with my class – the many, many happy hours, some of which spanned 8+ hours; the multiple trips to Eden Center to satiate my Vietnamese cravings; the wine-induced conversations about work, people, and politics; the sympathetic ears and professional advice on my every tiny complaint; and the general merriment of being around people whose company I thoroughly enjoyed. Thank you for sending me off in the best way possible, up until I literally entered the airport (thanks, Jannie!), and thank you for your enduring support. No matter what the future may hold, I’m glad to have shared (and hopefully continue to share) this experience with you all.

My friend, Joe, who I befriended during my semester abroad in Sydney, also spent the summer interning in DC, and it was good to reconnect again. After ushering in 2010 with him and Aina in Chicago earlier this year, it seemed fitting that we also spent July 4th weekend together. I am not the most patriotic person in the world, but there is something to be said for celebrating Independence Day on the National Mall, as the symphony bellows, fireworks crackle, and you look up at the red-white-and-blue streaked sky to find the Washington Monument towering above the spectacle of it all.

Throughout this whole experiment which took me away from Houston, I was glad to discover that it took little effort to maintain my nearest and dearest friendships that have only strengthened over the past couple years. I have shared many awesome moments with you all, and I regret that I haven’t been able to put down them in words (and pictures) until now.

I visited New York a couple times, where I was treated to good food, kind hospitality, and great company (thanks, Jenny!)

Steph, Kristal, and Jenny paid my new residence a visit, during which we tried new restaurants, drank wine on the rooftop, snuck stolen liquor into the club, and do what we do best in being a public nuisance =) (Here’s to Egypt/Greece 2011!)

And I had a reminder of home, with my parents’ visit for a Vietnamese convention in July and a brief houseguest in September.

Lastly, I went to Disney World! This was a trip planned long ago to benefit from both the redemption of our free theme park passes from Disney’s Give A Day, Get A Day campaign and the opening of the Harry Potter Theme Park (yay!). We drank butterbeer, delighted in the very well constructed (and magical!) world of Harry Potter, and waited in 5-minute lines for roller coasters that everyone enjoyed except me. I must admit, however, that the Quidditch scene in the HP 3-D ride was exhilarating, and I’m glad I didn’t chicken out. Magic Kingdom was appropriately silly, and after the day’s exploits, it’s safe to say that I have ridden on enough roller coasters to last me a lifetime. As on all trips, we were loud, obnoxious, and sometimes drunk, as evidenced by videos that will not see the light of day… oh, and by the fact that I was victim to being vomitted on in the van, courtesy of Pat O’Brien’s. I discovered that I don’t particularly like Orlando, but I enjoyed the trip immensely just the same. Good times and great conversations, as always.

During my final weekend before departure, I went home to Houston. It may be lame to admit the following, but I really missed my car. There is no justifiable way to describe the pleasure, after months of absence, of being able to recline in the driver’s seat of my G37 – hands tightly gripped around the leather wheel, foot perched achingly over the accelerator – as I cruised down Houston’s highways. The radio is blaring, and I’m feeling fine and free and in control of the road beneath me (and in front of me) as I dart to and fro on my way back home through the cluttered streets of Alief.

I felt pretty comfortable at home, surprisingly, and it was a shock to see how much my nephew has grown. At the age where he’s a tad too cool for school, I was pleased to see that he was still interested in seeking me out to talk like we used to do, although I can already sense the awkwardness inevitable in all preteens. Regardless, we spoke of college and career and Cairo, and I couldn’t help but acknowledge the pangs of witnessing firsthand how a child seems to grow even more quickly when you’re not looking. I spent a good part of my high school years taking care of him, but ever since I left for college, I’ve stepped into the role of the ever-absent aunt who visits a couple times a year, only to fly off to another city, another country. It’s like a scene from a novel I’m sure I’ve read before; I just never though my life would take on such a distinct archetype. C’est la vie.

It’s been wild, and the year is still not over. In one sense, it’s only just beginning.
To be continued…

Yes, ladies and gents, I am now living in Cairo, and I have a view of the Nile from my living room. I’m typically not fond of boastful displays of a privileged life, but I assure you that this – whatever it may be, however it may be expressed – comes from humble roots and sincere appreciation. Short as my time here has been, I am still astonished (and grateful) for the events that have colored my life in such broad strokes, so however frequent I may complain, yes, I do realize how fortunate I am.

And now… a recap of epic proportions, in three parts!

To begin, I had moved to Washington, DC for orientation and training in the Foreign Service under the expectation that I’d be around for 6 – 9 months at least, with the possibility of learning another language being one of the main motivations in joining the agency. At the end of orientation, we participated in a Flag Day ceremony where I was assigned to the Egypt regional mission based in Cairo, and although it was not what I had specified in my preferences, I was happy with the selection. It became very apparent very quickly, however, that not only would I be departing Washington sooner than desired, I would also not be eligible to undertake any language training whatsoever. My persistent request for a quick course in Arabic, for instance, was flat out denied… because really, why bother learning the language of the country where you are posted? That’s what the American expatriate bubble is for, no? Instead, I tenured in Vietnamese, which will be useless to me personally since I grew up with it and professionally since that is the one country the agency will never send me. Yes, the logic here is unassailable.

In any case, this required taking a pretty intense language test consisting of both speaking and reading sections. Hesitant of my command of the my native tongue (conversing is one thing, being tested on professional articulation is another), I spent some time drafting up narratives on current events so that I could speak somewhat intelligently during the test on terrorism, the flooding in Pakistan, the proposed Park51 project in New York, etc. After all, I still couldn’t explain coherently in Vietnamese what this job entails. (Then again, could I in English? It remains an obstacle.) After all this preparation, I entered my exam to find out that all the examiner wanted to talk about was… boys. How do you meet the perfect man? What qualities are you looking for? When will you know it’s the right time? How are you going to meet this guy if you’re always traveling around? WHAT, you don’t care to get married?!

Imagine my surprise! Next, I was questioned about my job, my parents’ thoughts on my job, and my reaction to a typically Confucian statement that placed the daughter at the bottom of the patriarchal totem pole. If I have any paranoid bone in my body, I’d bet that these people vetted me ahead of time to figure out the topics that would irritate me most. But in any case, I miraculously passed, and the rest of my time in DC was spent in rotations, fighting back and continually losing against the Man (the Man also happens to be the Boss now, sigh), and trying to stay sane in a nonsensical world. Yet, in spite of all the bureaucracy, inefficiency, irrationality, and drama (are all workplaces like this?), I am still alive and kicking. And I made some great new friends to boot.

To be continued…